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Affair-Proof Your Marriage : Understanding, Preventing and Surviving an Affair
By: Lana Staheli
ISBN-10: 0060929189    ISBN-13: 9780060929183
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks - 1998-06-01
Paperback | 1st Cliff Street Book/Harper Perennial Ed Edition | 276 Pages | List Price: $13.00 (USD) | Sales Rank: 460118
Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches

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This singular guide presents the straightforward facts on affairs, as well as advice to affairees and spouses on how to cope with them.

Since 60% of marriages are affected by affairs, you should know the facts:

  • Women under 30 are as likely as men to have an affair.
  • Love affairs are different from sex affairs.
  • Most affairs last between and three years, but the consequences can last a lifetime.
  • Fewer than 10% of affairees divorce their spouses then marry their lover.
  • Over 75% of those who do divorce and marry their lover divorce again.
  • Nearly 80% of those who divorce during an affair are sorry later.
  • Most marriages survive affairs. If you want to stay married, you can.
  • Prevention works. You can -- and should -- affair-proof your marriage right now.



This book, originally published as Triangles, asserts that infidelity happens in a full 60 percent of all marriages. Rich with statistics and case studies, it attempts to help readers save their marriages by describing the consequences of other people's affairs. According to Seattle counselor Lana Staheli, most of those who get divorced because of an affair later wish they hadn't--even if they go on to marry the person they were fooling around with. "Rarely do affairs last forever and seldom do they become happy marriages," she writes. "So, sooner or later, regret and pain set in." On the other hand, most of those who confronted the adulterous relationship and resolved to overcome it were able to develop an even stronger marriage within a few years. Of course, the best way to avoid dealing with an affair is to keep it from occurring in the first place--something Staheli believes can be accomplished if each partner provides the other not only with love and sex but also with the sense of self-esteem that comes from supporting them and appreciating them for who they are.


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